Do you start intending to quit?
I realized an ugly truth that I have known but never really thought of in this way…most people do 1/2-heartedly get their starts into life’s various new directions counting down the minutes til they can justify quitting.
I think it’s possible that this affects more people than you may realize…actually, it may affect you on some level – either now or perhaps in the past.
I’ve seen people dog out of businesses, give up on their dreams, quit weight loss programs, go back to smoking, and even commit suicide…
Pretty sad, right??
Moreso lately than not, I have made it a priority of mine to protect myself from the professional victims of the world.
I’ve found that it’s an utter drain on my time resources to enable the victim-minded individuals who cross my path with my sympathy. I know that may sound curt to some…but here’s my feeling. I’m not here to be people’s psychoanalyst or pitty-party pal. It’s just not what I’m here for.
I’m here to help those who have found their “get up and go” to apply themselves in ways that will enable them to succeed.
I need to reserve 100% of my focus for those who are here to help themselves so that they may have the skills to successfully help others even more. This is a powerful mission to be devoted to…this is why I have officially placed a hedge around myself to buffer me from those who are content to quit everything they start and who try to drag others down to their little level of contented failure.
I made a cool little graph that I’d like to share with you. It’s the Winner’s versus Loser’s matrix. On the Left side we see the attitude, thoughts, and actions of the Winner – on the Right side, we see the Ode of the Perpetual quitter…
On which side do you see yourself most of the time?? Winner or Quitter??
|Makes commitments||Makes promises|
|Never quits||Always quits|
|Have dreams||Have schemes|
|“I must do something.”||“Something must be done.”|
|Part of the team||Apart from the team|
|See the gain||See the pain|
|See possibilities||See problems|
|Hardly get mad||Always upset|
|Never whine||Always bitching|
|Never pretend||Wannabe “know-it-all”|
|Believe in Win/Win||Believe someone always has to lose|
|See the potential||Dwell on the past|
|Are like Thermostats||Are like Thermometers|
|Choose what they say & act purposefully||Say anything & act directionlessly|
|Handle hard situations with soft words||Create silly arguments with hard words|
|“I will do it.”||“Let me see if I can do anything.”|
|Part of the answer||Part of the problem|
|Has a plan||Has an excuse|
|“Let me help you with this.”||“That’s not my job.”|
|There’s an answer for any problem.||There’s a problem for every answer.|
|“It may be difficult but it’s possible.”||“It may be possible but it’s too difficult.”|
|“I was wrong.”||“It wasn’t my fault.”|
|Firm on values, compromising on pettiness||Firm on petty things, compromising on values|
|Philosophy: “Treat others as you’d like to be treated.”||Philosophy: “Do it to others before they do it to you.”|
|Make it happen||Let it happen|
The Ode of the Perpetual quitter looks “pretty bad on paper,” doesn’t it?
It’s such a drama way to live. – Overall it encompasses a self-defeating set of characteristics and habits to live life by, let alone to bring into any new venture.
I hope that you found yourself more on the Left side of the matrix…
If you found yourself more on the Right side of the matrix, I’m honestly not judging you…but I do have an exercise for you to try.
Stop Quitting & Start Winning Exercise:
- print out the chart above and read it several times so that you’re familiar with both sides
- carry it on your person and decide that you are going to work on helping yourself to start thinking and acting like a Winner
- pay attention to your thoughts, words, and actions
- when you catch yourself thinking, saying, or acting like a Loser, challenge yourself to reframe that situation with the qualities you see on the opposite side of the chart that most closely resembles how you reacted to life’s stimulus
- commit to the process of observing and actively influencing yourself into more constructive patterns which will assist you in your life’s journey
It’s a rather simple exercise to do.
And I will leave you with these thoughts (which I gleaned from the great Toby Black who closed out our call tonight)…
Think really long and hard about your “Why” tonight…and don’t just think about it; DRILL deeply down inside of it…if you are moved to tears then you did an ACE job.
If you have difficulty doing this, consider the following:
So let’s say that your “Why” is your children…
Well let’s dig into it to see how bad we want this “Why” – what is it about your children?
Maybe you don’t want them having to go out and hustle just to survive. Maybe you feel guilty that you haven’t been able to give them more, as a parent. Hey, maybe you didn’t do bad for yourself but you want MORE for them than having to live life on strained finances, stretching each dollar as far as you can make it go, just to get by...Maybe it’s the thought that your child will not be able to go to college…Maybe you just know that your kids deserve more than you’re giving them right now and that devastates you to the point of tears…
Or maybe it’s your parents… Are they elderly and need assistance? Maybe it’s the thought of these sweet folks of yours staying up at night stressed out over their finances wondering how in the world they are going to provide for themselves. Maybe they’re scared because they never want to be your burden and they are worrying themselves SICK thinking that one day they will be ”problem” to contend with.
It could be that the thought of your parents isn’t enough to drive you to succeed…but maybe the idea that they are creating stress and illness in their own lives worried about what is not under their control IS ENOUGH to drive you to succeed.
That’s powerful right there.
Whatever it is, it needs to be powerful enough to move you to do something about it and to be faithful to it, like anything else good in life deserves.
Allow yourself to build up enough emotional leverage within yourself – YOU WILL DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO…And on the converse, if you aren’t emotionally invested enough, it ain’t gonna work honey!!
Just the same way that if your doctor told you that you had to stop smoking TODAY so that you do not die TOMORROW, you wouldn’t hem and haw over it; you would just DO IT.
This is the level of commitment we must have to our success in order to keep our heads in the game so that we may WIN. Cling to this commitment, allow it to be your safety net, and remember that “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”
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