What do you mean I am responsible for where I am?
I can’t be responsible for this mess, I didn’t cause all those things to happen.
Does that sound familiar?
Are you in the habit of blaming anything and everything for your problems BUT You?
Does this sound like you are possessing the Virtue of taking responsibility?
I know its human nature to blame someone else, ever since Adam and Eve, mankind has been doing just that. But the truth is that its no one else’s fault but your own.
No, we can’t control circumstances but we can control how we react to them, which in turn controls the outcome of the circumstance.
Charles Swindoll sums it up nicely:
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
The virtue in taking self-responsibility
Being a person of Virtue: someone that is dependable, credible, worthy of joining up with, is essential for any successful business person and it begins with taking self-responsibility for what is occurring in your life.
Being a person of virtue that is worthy of joining means you can:
- Be trusted to honor your word (“Yes” means yes, “No” means no.)
- You will follow through with your commitments (In my world, promises are never required because my “Yes” simply means yes, as my “No” simply means no and hold myself to the standard of making good on my word.)
- You offer training and assistance (within reason, of course)
- Honor your contracts, service requests or product sales
- Give refunds if you can’t honor contracts
- Have a duplicatable system
- You’re not afraid to say “I don’t know” or admit when you’re wrong
- You truly want to see your members succeed too
The Virtue of taking self-responsibility is nothing more than accepting the consequences of your actions – or – being willing to be held responsible when things get messed up.
Simply put, you don’t blame others for your problems!
A person of Virtue finds answers or solutions to resolve the issue at hand instead of whining about it and refusing to take action. Only then can you honestly say to yourself that, yes, you are worthy to be joined.
Catherine-Alexandra.com is a reputable site run by Catherine Alexandra, a woman of Virtue that desires to help others reach their goals and that honors her word in all that she does. To find out more about her simply click the link here.
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PS: If you want to find out more about a Great Business Opportunity built by people that take having Virtue in self-responsibility seriously, that Cat recommends then check out this webinar
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Catherine
Responsibility is a big one. I believe most people do not take responsibility for their lives and rather feel like victims of life and as you say blame what or who ever.
I agree that attitude is perhaps the most important ingredient and that is a great quote from Charles Swindoll.
Your summary of what it means to be a person of virtue is excellent. I am great at keeping my word to others but not too good always at doing what I commit silently to do.
Thanks for a great post.
Sue
Sue Price recently posted..Pro Blog Academy
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 24, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Hello Sue,
Great to see you.
Thanks for the visit and sorry for the tardy reply. I just dug your comment up out of my SPAMMED comment section. I’m really not sure why you were taken over there, but am glad that I found your comment because it certainly was NOT spam!
I’m happy you enjoyed the post here and also the Charles Swindoll quote. I find that little things like quotes help me remind myself of how to stay on track. Follow-through is one area that many people struggle, so you’re definitely not alone in that department, Sue. I think that it’s easy to fall off of what we’re attempting to do, especially because we tend to keep so much on our plates these days. I think that making time to go back and complete projects is a good idea when the project is something worth having started.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend, Sue. Thanks so much for sharing in the convo, I appreciate it!
Cat
Hi Cat
That is funny I ended up in your spam as you did in mine too. Also in mine was Louise Steiner who has been commenting on my blog for a long time. I heard Ray Higdon say he was having problems with quality comments going there so not sure what is happening
Hope you have had a nice weekend
Sue
Sue Price recently posted..Pro Blog Academy – Module 1
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 25, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Hi Sue,
It sure does sound like we may all be experiencing the same thing with the comments! I wonder if this has anything to do with some changes in the Google algorithms – or may be something else? Definitely outside of my tech-skillset! haha At any rate, I’m so happy we found each other’s comments because it’s no fun when such great blog conversation goes to waste!
I had an outstanding weekend, thanks! I hope you did as well! Also, thanks for coming back to let me know what happened on your end when I commented for you. I think maybe we can keep an eye out on these things together to make sure everyone is being represented!
Best regards,
Cat
Hi again Cat
Have to share something funny with you. I sent my post to Ray Higdon with the hope he would comment. He did and he went to my spam!!! The man with his Alexa ranking so who knows what is going on! If it is the new algorithms I think they need to revisit them
My weekend was nice only thing is it is winter now in Australia and it rained all weekend. Good for comfort food though.
Have a good week Cat
Sue
This is a life-changing message Cat!
Take responsibility for all that happens in your life. THIS is the key to freedom. I like the Bob Proctor affirmation:
“I am responsible for my life, for my feelings, and for every result I get.” Repeat that one 1000 times daily and the poisonous habit of blame dissolves from your being. You stop lending your precious Power to things outside of you through blame and simply own all that happens.
You might not intend for something to happen, or want it to happen, but it happens. Gotta own it, if you hope to be free from it. Thanks Cat!
Ryan
Ryan Biddulph recently posted..You Can Grow an Online Business Without Stalking Prospects?
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 18, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Dear Ryan,
I agree with you, this is all about changing our lives! These things are 100% internal to begin with, never external, that always happens later.
I’m a big Bob Proctor fan and do love the quote. It becomes nearly like magic to take responsibility in the way prescribed. It is actionable and it helps the brain lock into a more conducive program for success than the bad programming which created the channel most people’s brains stay stuck on. Sure does take a lot to create a new way of thinking, being, doing. I think that’s why they say that repetition is the mother of wisdom!
Thanks for sharing the great tip on that! I think it makes for an excellent mantra!!
Hope you’re having a sensational start to your week!
Cat
Cat recently posted..Just take a break already | Learning when to walk away and call it a day
Cat – I just love this one especially the part “we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way” So many times I’ve been crushed by how others react. I’m starting to realize it’s other things in their lives that causes this. We can only control our own reactions and actions. We can try to inspire others but we can’t control how they will act or re-act.
I agree to always say I don’t know when you really don’t know. You can then try to find an answer if necessary. We all can’t know everything all the time. If you try to bluff it it will only cause more havoc.
Great post Cat!
Lisa recently posted..Why You Should Join Her Social Network
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 24, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Hey there Lisa,
Gosh am I glad I went fishing in my SPAM bucket today! I have no idea why on earth this comment got dumped in there, but I’m so glad I found it!
It sounds like you sure do have a handle on the fact that the only thing that’s ever under our control is our own re/actions! Good on you, Lisa. I think that this is one area that eludes many people and creates challenges for them because they do not understand it. We kind of have to let ourselves and other people off the hook a bit because we all have our own will.
I like to be compassionate with people and give them credit, even if I don’t know where they’re coming from. I try to keep in mind that we’re all doing the best we can with what we have to work with at any given time. We just aren’t always going to be on the same page and that’s okay! We must still go on and take personal responsibility for the choices we make, going forward.
Thanks for the great comment Lisa. And again, I’m so happy I found it! I had no idea it was stuck in the wrong bucket til today!
Cat
I was sent some audios a couple months ago Cat from a friend I met on Facebook. It has a lot to do with personal development type information and it took me awhile to get through them all. I had several aha moments although I was proud to say I also knew quite a bit of what he shared.
One of the things that hit home with me is when people say “it’s not my fault” and they are always blaming someone else they aren’t taking 100% responsibility for their actions. Now I’ve never shied away from this myself but most people don’t understand why they have brought some circumstances on themselves.
For instance if you’re sitting at a light and a car runs into you from behind then of course you’re going to say it’s not your fault. I mean no one asked for that car to just run into them right so how can that be your fault.
What he shared really hit home with me. He said, what were you thinking at the time the car accident happened? Whatever it was you were probably thinking those same types of thoughts the day before, a week before, a month before, etc. Whatever you think about, you’re bringing those same vibrations into your life. So if you were mad, angry, frustrated, upset, whatever and continued thinking those types of thoughts, you’re bringing the same into your life. In this particular case it may be in the form of a car accident.
Either way, we are responsible for our own actions and how we react to things. Remember, what you think about you bring about. So the decision is how do you want to live your life!
Like you mentioned here honor your word, your contracts. Do the right thing and you will be much better for it in the long run.
Sorry to ramble but this post just reminded me of what I had learned and just wanted to share that with you.
Thanks Cat for always giving it to us like we need it. Life is worth enjoying and when you take the high road it just makes it that much more enjoyable.
Have a great week young lady!
~Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted..How to Build a Rock Star Brand
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 18, 2012 at 9:21 pm
Hi Adrienne,
Oh I’m so happy to read your comment here. I think you have given some insight that many will reject, but that is undoubtedly true…I know because I have experienced it firsthand.
Until we recognize that every little thing we experience TODAY is the result of the residual effect of our yesterdays and the decisions we made, actions or inactions we chose to participate in, et cetera, we will forever be mystified and unempowered in the lives we lead. – And yes, we do lead ourselves into unempowered lives when we choose to not recognize our cause/effect relationship to our own life picture.
I think it’s bold to accept the responsibility for all that we encounter. I think that there’s a way to do that without being so self-judgmental, too. We can have a healthy relationship with ourselves by recognizing the less desirable parts of our lives as opportunities to make choices that are better synchronized to what we aspire to be, rather than dogging ourselves out because something crappy happened due to less effective past choices. It all boils down to the energy we carry and put into life.
I loved the point you made, Adrienne, it was so perfect as an example so thank you for sharing that! And thank you for being one person willing to optimize herself and demonstrate that empowerment to others. I have a feeling that by putting it out there by being an example, we help to bring others into their own power in this respect. There’s a calibration process that occurs by being around others who are walking the talk!!
Cheers to you, my friend!! I hope that your week is simply outstanding!
Cat
Hi Cat,
Very good article. Yes, that’s true that taking responsibilities is a hard thing to do for a lot of us. I think we have all some of that. When I see it I find it so ugly that I am making more and more sure that if I have any of that, and I know I had
I want it out and away from me.
In the end, I find it much more attractive to make a mistake and admit to it than blaming someone or something else.
As a matter of fact, about circumstances! My study of the law of attraction taught me that you can even change a lot of that. What people call “circumstances” are basically created by the person running into such circumstances, but that’s another post
As Adrienne mentions, she learned how even a car accident can be brought up by your own thoughts. And it is! I totally agree with that.
Thanks for this excellent post, Cat!
Sylviane Nuccio recently posted..How To Write Like An Expert With Sylviane
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 23, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Dear Sylviane,
I’m happy you liked the article!
I think that you are right about how it’s much easier for people to point a finger than to look inward at what they contributed to cause the problem.
I love that you have taken such a vigilant approach to being self-responsible. I have worked on myself a lot so that I can recognize my participation and acceptance of situations and my own actions/inactions that contribute to life circumstances.
I think til we get to the place where we are doing this all the time, we have a long way to go in terms of being a real professional worth listening to!
I am of the same thought-process as you regarding the LOA and how we are in control of every circumstance we experience to a large extent. I think it’s easy for people to disregard this fact because it’s not very “convenient” if we’re stuck on the stupid-channel (like my step father used to always say), refusing to recognize the truth of it all.
Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom about this subject, Sylviane. I always appreciate what you have to say because I know you’re someone who has taken the time to walk the talk!!
Cat
Oh…. yet another very powerful post Cat.
Why is that some people seem to be born to blame someone else and others readily accept their own mistakes and take action accordingly? I have been pondering this just this last week as my daughter seems to blame everyone when she can’t find something, yet my son KNOWS that he has been silly and needs to really think about where he last had something. Two totally different reactions and yet I brought them up just the same? (I think….!!)
I have to say this did not come naturally to me and was something I have had to learn (still learning) ……and like Adrienne I am really trying to work hard on my own personal development in terms of mindset and controlling my thoughts as I now believe it is what has held me back.
Great post!
Nicky
Nicky recently posted..How to Blog Like a Pro For More Leads and Sales
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 23, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Dear Nicky,
Thank you so much!
That is very interesting how both of your children have such different styles in terms of how they respond to their own “booboos.” I think maybe it just goes to show you how different people process the world and their experience in it, even when they’ve been reared in the exact same way.
I think that you’re not alone in having had to work on yourself to be able to recognize your part in your life events. I know I sure did! I think I may have been a lot more like your little girl when I was growing up, not seeing how my actions/inactions framed my day to day experiences. It’s a liberating thing when we “get it” though, so I think it’s well worth investing the time to work it all out and be more self-aware.
I am really happy you enjoyed the post too, Nicky! Thanks for the great personal feedback. I think it’s helpful for others to know they’re not alone in having to “work” on this stuff.
Cat:D
Great subject Cat,
Personally, I don’t every like to communicate with people that play the blame game. Even those in my own family! “I can’t because….” is a mere excuse for not growing forward. This is by no means a judgement, but rather an observation of people who do this. I strongly feel like they are limiting themselves of pleasure, of prosperity, etc.
With freedom comes responsibility. We can never be free unless we know that. As an entrepreneur for most of my life, I learned this lesson long ago. When there is bump in the road in my business, I need to re-asses. See why this happened and try to fix it.
When it comes to marriage it is a two way street. I can never do the blame game if something went wrong because it takes two to tango! We can allow a behavior with our significant other to go on until we can’t stand it any more. We have to take responsibility for that.
Most importantly, as you said above is how we react to things that go wrong. If you find yourself blaming, or thinking in a negative way, it is time to re-assess!
Thanks for bringing up this important topic.
Donna
Donna Merrill recently posted..Are You Hiding Under A “Blogging Umbrella?”
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 23, 2012 at 9:07 pm
Hi Donna,
I think we definitely share some similar feelings about the words, “I can’t because…” I think that “growing forward” is such an eloquent way to express what we can do in this life to live in a self-responsible way, while striving to reach our full potential! Great terms! I’m just picking up all kinds of cool terms from you today!
Oh you just said such a mouthful with regard to responsibility, especially in our partnerships! It DOES take two to tango! When we forget to recognize the kinds of behaviours we enable via our tacit approvals, we create an unfair expectation of our partners! It’s just that simple!
Thank you for always bringing a new point of clarity forward, Donna. You’re such a wise person and I admire how you are always willing to share your insights even if they’re ones that might be unpopular because they require self-work! I love that!
Cat
Twitter: catherinealexa
June 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Hi Sue,
That is indeed funny! Well, I’m glad to know it’s not just us!
I hope that this is all resolved soon. I don’t mind going through my SPAM, I always make a habit of going in there to see what may have been missed, but it’s not always something I can do in the most timely of fashions.
It sounds like your weather and ours are currently completely at opposites. It has been a scorcher of a week here! We have been dealing with many wildfires that have devastated literally hundreds of acres out my way…we have been praying for rain! Looks like we just got some of our prayers answered! Maybe you Aussies can send us some more since you’re getting lots! lol
Thanks for all the well wishes, Sue! I’m so happy you had a nice weekend and hope that your week is also going very very well!
Cat
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